FOREVER

What.a.week.

Seriously it's been a crazy, crazy week. I have many posts swirling around in my mind (about our special house guest during the March for Life, the crazy thunder-snowstorm on Wednesday, and losing power - and heat! - for two days, etc.)

But, the big news is that we finalized Tommy's adoption on Friday! He is (officially and legally) forever our son!! And the fact that our assigned courtdate also happened to be the feast of St. Thomas Aquinas is like icing on the cake. I look forward to celebrating this day every year as a family!

Here we are waiting in the courtroom to be called back to the judge's chambers.

With the judge. (Pay no attention to my tear-streaked face.)

I wasn't prepared for how emotional that moment would be. I really didn't think much about it ahead of time because in my mind this day was just a formality. Tommy has been our son since day one and watching a judge sign the adoption decree didn't seem like a big deal.

But as I listened to him read aloud the words that Thomas Joseph is now legally and irrevocably our son, I completely lost it. My husband had tears in his eyes and even the judge's clerk was teary-eyed as she snapped our picture.

The judge couldn't have been nicer. He asked to hold Tommy and even took a picture of the three of us. He gave Tommy a teddy bear before we left which I thought was so sweet! We had a celebratory lunch at The Cheesecake Factory and we couldn't stop smiling all day.

Thank you Lord.

Finding God on the elliptical machine

Does anyone else find God when they workout/exercise?

This week I have tried to get back into a good routine of exercising, and since we have an elliptical machine I really have no excuse, but unfortunately I have been on a lazy-streak for awhile now.

And I've noticed that my workout time often turns into prayer time. It's probably because I'm not an athlete and if I didn't pray or offer it up, I might not get through my workout! I don't always enjoy it, but I know it's good for me. I usually feel much better afterwards and have more energy for the rest of the day.

I usually listen to praise and worship music, which also inspires me to keep going and to work a little harder. (Ha ha... it's funny because I'm only talking about 30 minutes here!) Anyways, I end up doing a lot of thinking and praying during that time.

Yesterday I was remembering all of the thoughts/prayers from my workouts pre-Tommy. For years I prayed and prayed on that elliptical machine for our future children and wondered when/how it would happen. Some days it hits me that I'm actually a mom. Even after 8 months, I still can't believe that all of it really happened.

My prayers are full of so much gratitude these days. And yet I still wonder about the future. What is next? Will we ever conceive? Will we adopt again? How long will it take? I guess life will always be like this, in one way or another.

Like most Januarys, I am trying (again) to get back on track in terms of eating right, exercising, praying more, getting organized, keeping the house clean, etc. In a way I feel like I'm always starting over with these things, but I guess that is part of the human condition.

I really miss going to daily Mass, but it's impossible right now with Tommy's morning schedule. His afternoon nap gets screwed up three days a week when we go to school, so I'm really trying to keep his mornings consistent. For some reason it's hard for me to pray regularly in the morning at home. (I say this as I'm blogging at 7:00am.) Hmmmm... as always, it's a matter of prioritizing and making it happen.

I'm really looking forward to my retreat in two weeks. Even though I'm only going for the day, I know that it will do wonders for my soul. Last year's retreat, which I blogged about here, was fabulous. It inspired my devotion to St. Joseph and I'm so glad we chose Joseph for Tommy's middle name.

The day before the retreat we will be in court finalizing Tommy's adoption. We have so much to be thankful for... thank you Lord!

St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.

Still catching up and CA trip

Does anyone else feel like they are still catching up from the holidays?? Thankfully my decorations are put away, but I can't seem to get my house back in order! Our friends and family were very generous with Tommy's gifts so now I need to find a place to store all of his new toys. Ideally I would like everything to have a permanent place in my home, otherwise stuff gets left laying around everywhere. But instead of putting things away, I decided to blog. ;)

Part of the reason I'm still catching up is that Tommy and I took a quick, winter getaway to California. It was wonderful to spend a few days with my family, especially since we weren't with them at Christmas. My poor hubby was left home alone. We sure missed him and I know it was hard for him to be apart from Tommy.

I was a little nervous about traveling by myself. It was Tommy's third time flying and he continues to be a great traveler. The flight was 5 1/2 hours going west and only 4 hours coming back east. Crazy how that works, isn't it? I was soooo lucky that the seat next to me was empty both flights. Thank you Lord for looking out for me! That seriously made a world of difference because when he wasn't sleeping, Tommy could sit in the seat and play by himself. I was also blessed to have friendly people sitting around me.

On our return flight I started chatting with a woman who had a baby around Tommy's age. It's such a small world because it turns out that we have a lot in common. First of all, her 7-month old son's name is TOMMY! Can you believe it? She is from Southern California, her husband is from the Midwest, they live a couple of miles away from us and she's also a stay-at-home mom. Her husband is a professor at Gallaudet (it's a deaf university here in DC - her husband is deaf.) Since they have only lived in this area for about a year, it sounds like they haven't made many friends yet. We exchanged emails and we're going to plan a play date soon!

Here are a few pics from our time in CA. We didn't leave the house much and it was wonderful to rest, relax and spend time with family.

Checking out Grandma's orange tree

Fun times on the swing!


Maybe next summer Tommy can play in the pool


Getting love from Uncle S and Aunt N (his Godmother)

Playing on the floor with Grandpa


By the way, Tommy is 8 months old today! It's hard to believe how quickly the time is flying by. Here is a picture of him from this morning, checking out last night's snow.

What is next for our family??

I have been such a bad blogger lately. I guess it's mostly because of Christmas, traveling, etc. I feel like I'm often (always?) behind on many things - including the blog - but thankfully it doesn't stress me out too much. I know that I can always blame Tommy and being a mom! :) As I've mentioned before, I always hope to post about something interesting, insightful, or reflective. I get a lot of ideas in my head throughout the day, but I'm too exhausted in the evening to actually blog. So you will have to settle for a hodge-podge of updates here and there.

One big topic in our house lately is what is next for our family? Obviously the start of a new year brings about many reflections on the past year and resolutions for the upcoming year.

2010 was a year of miracles for us. We took our amazing pilgrimage in the spring and just three weeks later got the call to adopt Tommy. We couldn't have been more surprised, and more thrilled. Everything else in our life was put on hold or at least took a backseat, and I really don't know what happened from May until now. In a way it has been one big blur. But a beautiful blur. :) Thank you Lord!

For the past couple of months my hubby and I have been discussing what is next for our family. Our adoption agency allows couples to get back on the waiting list 9 months after adopting. Tommy will be 9 months on February 12 and we are excited to get back on the waiting list as soon as we can!

I also feel very strongly that I need to get back on the wagon regarding my infertility. I have "crossed over" in the sense that I am a mother. This was what I longer for and desired so badly, and in a sense I have left the IF club. I am now a member of the mom's club.

But I am still infertile. My body is still broken and barren. I still long to conceieve, to be pregnant, and to have more children. I know that the Lord can work a miracle whenever and however He chooses. But I also know that I need to get better medical care to figure out what the heck is going on with my body.

For the past couple of months I have been waiting to see if my husband's work was going to change insurance. Praise the Lord, they did change and Dr. S in Pennsylvania is now covered. I really can't believe our luck (God's providence!) and I called immediately to set-up an appointment.

You may or may not remember that I met with him last spring for a consultation. Based on my medical history and his physical exam he recommended surgery - a selective HSG to see if my tubes are blocked and a laparoscopy to see if any endo has returned. He suspects that it has.

He also ordered a hormone panel (bloodwork every other day for a month!) which I was in the process of completing when we adopted Tommy. I remember vividly sitting in the lab waiting room to get my blood drawn furiously reading "What to Expect the First Year." It was such a surreal moment to realize that we were becoming parents overnight and were so unprepared!

I was tempted to stop getting my blood drawn that week, but I really didn't want to waste all the effort I had put in that month. Those of you who have had this done know what an ordeal it is to get to the lab every other day for a month. Plus the fact that Tommy was born 7 days after we first thought gave me a little extra time to finish the panel.

Anyways, since then I haven't done anything else to work towards restoring my fertility. I had two follow-up appointments with Dr. S that I ended up canceling. I haven't charted AT ALL for the past 8 months and it has been so liberating! But I am ready to start fresh and hopefully discover the source of my problem.

After setting up the appointment with Dr. S (the first available was late February) I asked the scheduler what, if anything, I should do in the meantime. I told her that he had recommended surgery and asked if we could go ahead and schedule that. Being my impatient self, I figured why wait until February?? She spoke with the doctor and he agreed. I am waiting to hear back from his office with my surgery date.

Even though the surgery is outpatient and the recovery time is minimal, it's a bit more complicated with Tommy in the picture and the fact that I am a long-distance patient. Once I get the surgery date my hubby and I will have to figure out how to make it work.

I am excited about the possibilities that 2011 brings. I hope and pray that I will finally get solid treatment and discover the cause of my infertility.

Christmas

We had a wonderful week in Nebraska with my husband's family. It was so special to celebrate Tommy's first Christmas! He also got to meet his cousins for the first time. Here are a few pics from our week.

Christmas Dinner

After opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Tommy with his two cousins

With Grandma S

With Uncle J

With Cousin J

Opening his little John Deere Tractor

He had so much fun taking baths in the sink!


With Aunt K and cousin A

Learning how to play air hockey

Tommy's first Christmas!