Quick Update

It was a 3 hour surgery, stage 2 endo removed, partially blocked left tube was opened, hanging in recovery now. Thanks for all the love and prayers.

Surgery Tomorrow

I just made it to PA with my parents and I'm typing on my phone, so this will be short. Surgery is tomorrow at 8:00am with Dr S - prayers are greatly appreciated! Doing the bowel prep then off to bed. Ugh!

It ended up being a chaotic evening before I left. Tommy had his first fever ever, go figure - the first night I've ever left hubby alone with him! :( Poor Tommy was feeling so yucky, I've never seen him look that way. Hopefully its nothing serious and he's feeling better in the morning. Thanks to my hubby for taking such good care of him!

I will try to post surgery updates when I can.

Pre-Op Appointments

Yesterday I spent the day in PA taking care of all my pre-op appointments. I left my house at 6:45am and despite the pouring rain, thankfully had an easy drive - my hubby stayed home with Tommy, so I was driving alone. After clarifying all the financial paperwork and insurance stuff, I met with Dr. S. Because it had been a year since my last appointment (almost a year to the date!) he started with an exam - a very thorough exam. Ugh. Those of you who have been before know what I'm talking about. How did I not think about this ahead of time?? It caught me off guard, but in a way I guess that's better than stressing about it ahead of time.

Afterwards, he talked me through the procedure and described in detail everything that will be done - selective HSG, hysteroscopy, laparoscopy (and removal of any endo found) and cauteriziation of my cervix. I really appreciate how thorough, meticulous and professional he is. He took his time with me and made sure I was comfortable with everything. I know that I'm in good hands and I truly feel blessed to be working with him. I still can't believe that my husband's insurance just happened to change this January so he is now covered!

Next I went to a different office for my ultrasounds - pelvic and transvaginal. And the last stop of the day was pre-admission paperwork and bloodwork at the hospital. I love how Catholic hospitals have saint statues and crucifixes all around! My cousin happens to live just a few miles from Dr. S's office, so we met for lunch in between my appointments.

I honestly haven't given my surgery much thought lately. I've been busy and distracted with other things, plus I guess it feels different since I've had it done before (three years ago with a different physician.) But after my appointments yesterday it's much more real! I'm very curious, to say the least, what Dr. S will find during my surgery next week. I continue to hope and pray that we find answers to our infertility.

Blogger Baby Baptism

Yesterday I was so honored to attend Sew's sweet baby Hannah Grace's Baptism. S from A Friend of Gianna and I drove up together. She was SUCH a huge help with Tommy in the backseat - feeding, singing, playing and reading to him. It was a lovely drive through the Maryland countryside and the Baptism was held inside a beautiful old church. At the end of the sacrament the priest laid Hannah on the altar while a choir sang the Ave Maria. I have never seen this done before and it was so beautiful! Little Hannah was perfectly calm and peaceful throughout the entire song while the priest looked down lovingly at her. I'm so glad that I got a close look at the Baptismal gown because it was stunning! Sew's mother made it by hand, and the embroidery and beadwork were so elaborate. It had the words of the Ave Maria around it and beautiful representations of Jesus and Mary. Simply gorgeous. Afterwards we drove to Sew's family home and enjoyed a nice reception to celebrate. I just love blogger get-togethers!

Hannah with her parents and Godparents (A from This Cross I Embrace and her husband.)

Mr. Sew, Sew, A Friend of Gianna (holding Hannah), Mr. TCIE, TCIE, Me (and Tommy), Call Me Mama and Mr. Call Me Mama

God Bless you Hannah Grace!

Quick Takes

(1) I wore flip-flops today. I can't even begin to describe how happy that makes me! Despite living here for 10 years, I still consider myself a Southern California girl and I miss my flip-flops desperately during the winter. Although I have to admit that I love experiencing all four seasons. The joy of spring is so great after having finished a long, cold winter.

(2) I snapped this picture in my backyard before coming inside to write this post. Daffodils are such happy flowers, aren't they?

(3) Yesterday I received the "USC Family Magazine" in the mail. I don't always read it, but I decided to page through it and found an article on endometriosis. I couldn't believe it! The magazine is published 3-4 times a year and highlights various things going on at USC. The endometriosis article profiled a physican at the medical school who is doing research on the disease. While the article mentions infertility, it mostly profiled a patient who was dealing with debilitating pain. I was surprised to read that she had two children in her 20s, but the endo returned and she is now in her 40s seeking treatment. I'm just glad to read that some research is being done about this mysterious disease.

(4) This afternoon I met with a new spiritual director - Fr. J. I have been meaning to get back into direction and a mutual friend put us in touch. He seems like a very holy priest and I'm so thrilled that he is available to meet with me. So often the "good" ones are super busy.

(5) I can't get over how many in-real-life friends have discovered my blog because they are also dealing with infertility. This seems to happen once in awhile and I am reminded how small the world is. It saddens me to hear about friends who are struggling to conceive, but I am so grateful for the support and encouragement from our blogging community. It is truly a gift from the Lord. You are all in my prayers!

(6) Today officially begins spring break at my school. It's not as big of a deal since I'm only teaching a few hours a week, but I'm still grateful for a week off. My parents arrive next Wednesday and I'm really looking forward to their visit. It will be peak bloom for the Cherry Blossoms and it's truly the best week to be in DC!

(7) Time to wrap this up... I'm heading outside with my iced coffee, sunglasses, and my new People magazine which just arrived. (My hubby gave me a subscription for Christmas - my guilty pleasure!) I've got to hurry before Tommy wakes up from his nap. :)

Blogger Lunch

I love blogger-get-togethers! Today I had lunch with these GORGEOUS ladies:
Sew (holding Tommy), Sew's sweet grandmother, Call Me Mama (holding Hannah), me, and Mrs. Mike (holding her little Sarah)

Tommy missed his morning nap, but thankfully Sew didn't mind rocking him to sleep!
Call Me Mama also rocked little Hannah to sleep. (I can't wait until her baby is in her arms next month!)

Novena to St. Joseph

I am starting a novena to St. Joseph today and I'm posting the prayer below if you would like to join me. His feast day - March 19th - is nine days away.
O glorious Saint Joseph, steadfast follower of Jesus Christ, I am confident that your prayers for me will be graciously heard at the throne of God.
To you I lift my heart and hands, asking your powerful intercession to obtain from the compassionate heart of Jesus all the graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal well-being, particularly the grace of a happy death, and the special grace for which I now pray (mention your request.)
Saint Joseph, guardian of the Word Incarnate, by the love you bear for Jesus Christ, and for the glory of his name, hear my prayer and obtain my petitions. Amen.

I looked back at my old posts to see what I did last year and found this post where my husband and I prayed a novena to St. Joseph for our special intention of becoming parents. I am so humbled to think that less than two months later our sweet Tommy was born. God is so good!

My life was full of so much grace last year - starting with my retreat in January (which focused on St Joseph) and a fruitful Lent leading up to our pilgrimage to Lourdes/Rome during Holy Week/Easter. My prayer life was in a really good place and I'm striving to return to that. Lately I have been lulled into complacency, and I know that I need to make a change. I felt the Lord calling me back to Him when I read this passage from the Ash Wednesday readings:

Even now, says the LORD, return to me with your whole heart.
(Joel 2:12)

I will end with this reflection on St. Joseph - also stolen from one of my previous posts. I pray you are all having a blessed Lent!

Joseph. He is the man on the outskirts, standing in the shadows, silently waiting, there when wanted and always ready to help. He is the man in whose life God is constantly intervening with warnings and visions. Without complaint he allows his own plans to be set aside. He is the man who dreams of setting up a quiet house-hold, simply leading a decent home life and going about his everyday affairs, attending to his business and worshiping God and who, instead, is condemned to a life of wandering.

His message is willing obedience. He is the man who serves. It never enters his head to question God's commands. Unquestioning service is the secret of his life. It is his message for us. How proud and presumptuous and self-sufficient we are. We have crabbed and confined God within the pitiable limits of our obstinacy and our complacency.

The prayer of Saint Paul - do with me what you will - the quiet and willing readiness to serve of the man Joseph, could lead us to a truer and more genuine freedom.

-Father Alfred Delp, SJ

Bloggers on Ash Wednesday

I was fortunate to spend Ash Wednesday Mass with two beautiful bloggers! S from A Friend of Gianna, A from This Cross I Embrace and I met at the Shrine (The Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception) for Mass last night. It was so lovely to meet TCIE for the first time in person, even though it feels like I've "known" her for many years now. Her sweet husband was also there and took this picture for us:

It was lovely to chat and catch up for a bit. We didn't have much time because the Shrine (and the parking lot!) were closing shortly after Mass and TCIE had to drive back home. I look forward to seeing both of these ladies, along with a few others, next week!

Joy and Humility

I have been reading this book - The Four Teresas - and was inspired by Mother Teresa's reflections on joy and humility.

I read this passage this morning in which she was talking about smiling, even when it is not easy:

My smile is a great mantle which covers a multitude of sufferings. I smile all the time. The sisters and people think that my faith, my hope and my love are profoundly fulfilling me... If they only knew...only blind faith moves me along, because the truth is that all is darkness for me.

Some might think the above quote is suggesting that we be fake. I see it that Mother Teresa chose to love the Lord, to serve her neighbor and to keep a positive attitude despite her suffering. She joyfully accepted the call to die to herself daily to help bring souls to Jesus. Even though I am not in a place of darkness or suffering right now, I really related to these words. Every moment of every day we have a choice in how we can react to situations.

Next Mother Teresa reflects on humility with these simple instructions:

Speak as little as possible of oneself.
Mind one's own business.
Avoid curiosity.
Do not want to manage other people's affairs.
Accept contradiction and correction cheerfully.
Pass over the mistakes of others.
Accept blame when innocent.
Yield to the will of others.
Accept insults and injuries.
Accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.
Be kind and gentle even under provocation.
Do not seek to be specially loved and admired.
Never stand on one's dignity.
Yield in discussion even though one is right.
Choose always the hardest.

I was really struck by these words - it is truly a high calling to live this way in our daily lives.

Lent is quickly approaching (tomorrow!) and I'm still not ready yet. Any suggestions for some good Lenten goals? Either fasting from something or a way to increase prayer?

Wow, Has it Really Been this Long??

Sheesh, I can't believe I haven't posted in over two weeks. Where does the time go? Things are busy here with my catechist class, my show (we're doing Aladdin, Jr!) and all of our upcoming plans (my surgery, both of our parents visiting, etc.) All good things, just busy.

The problem with not blogging for so long is that I don't know what to write, besides a random hodge-podge of what we've been up to. So I guess that will have to do for now.

Yesterday was the last class in the catechist course (on Sacraments) that I've been teaching. I invited one of my priest-friends to hear Confessions and say Mass for our little group of teachers and it was really nice. Even though our group was small, I know that the ones who came really appreciated it. It's wonderful to celebrate Mass in a small group when you have the chance. I'm so glad that I went to Confession. I had been meaning to go for awhile and I know that my soul really needed it. A few of the teachers were pretty nervous to go - I think it had been awhile - but I know that everyone was glad to receive the grace of the Sacraments.

Part of my penance relates to Lent and I am SO READY for Lent! Ha ha... I feel like I say this every year - about both Lent and Advent - but it's true. I always need the Liturgical seasons to call me back to the Lord and get my priorities straight. I'm still trying to sort out my Lenten goals, but I have a few ideas.

Lent and Easter are so late this year, but I am excited to think that spring will really be here by Easter! I am so ready for some warmer weather - not only for my sake, but to be able to spend time outside with Tommy. He was a newborn last summer and it was too hot to be outside and of course it's been a freezing, cold winter this year. He absolutely loves to look out the window and I know he will love spending time outside. It was in the 50s on Sunday and we spent a little time in the yard with him. I was thrilled to see that our daffodil and tulip plants are starting to pop up. Tommy couldn't get enough of the grass and trees and everything around him. I can't wait to take him to the park, the zoo and to find a swimming pool!

Yesterday we mailed in our application for adoption #2. I was under the impression that the process would be simpler the second time around since we are using the same agency, but it looks like we will have to do everything over again - the entire homestudy, SW visits, etc. I am honestly not looking forward to all the papework and the crazy hoops that we have to jump through - but I know that it's so worth it in the end. And I'm grateful that emotionally and spiritually, it's much easier this time around. Is it crazy that I'm ready for another baby?? I know the waiting will be easier this time, but whether we conceive or adopt I'm ready to continue growing our family!

So a funny thing has happened to me twice recently - two people have commented on how they can't believe that Tommy is getting so big because they remember when I was pregnant. Um, excuse me?? Isn't that funny?? One was a clerk at the grocery store (I've never met her in my life!) and one was a man from church (I recognized him, but I don't really know him.) The man at church made the comment this past Sunday after Mass in front of my husband and a few members of the choir. We all giggled as he walked away. I didn't correct either person because I knew we weren't having a long conversation. I know that Grace in My Heart posted about this once, but has this happened to any other adoptive moms?

Last weekend my husband and I went to our first movie since Tommy was born. It was a belated Valentines-night-out and we had been looking forward to it for awhile. My good friend L and I decided to do a date night swap - we are going to take turns babysitting so the other couple can go out once the babies are asleep. Our plan was to see "The Kings Speech" and get dessert afterwards. Nothing seemed to work out the way we planned and we were joking that it had been so long since we had been on a date that we couldn't remember how to do it! For some reason there was a ton of traffic getting to the movie theater and by the time we had parked we realized we were going to miss the showtime. We decided to see "True Grit" instead, but we had to stand in a long line to get tickets and then stand in another line to wait for our theater. Once we found our seats people quickly filled in around us until the theater was full. I must be getting old because I was so annoyed with all the lines and crowds. The movie was great, but when we got to Cold.stone Ice Cream there was another really long line. We were already later than we had planned and we didn't want to keep L waiting, so instead we picked up Mc.Donald's milkshakes on our way home. Overall it was a great night and so fun to be out, but we had to laugh at ourselves. We felt so old and out of practice with going out!

Speaking of my friend L, her little boy Luke just turned one. It was so fun to celebrate his first birthday - it was Tommy's first time going to a birthday party for a friend! I can't believe that he will be turning one in just a couple of months. Here are a few pictures from the party.

The Birthday Boy with his parents.

Major faux-pas by Tommy - he wore the same outfit as the birthday boy!

Do they ever stop putting everything in their mouths??

Tommy has recently started sticking out his tongue... little stinker!