Post Placement

Today we had our first post-placement visit from the social worker.  It feels good to be taking steps towards finalization.  I spoke with our attorney in Indiana this week and right now we are waiting to see if the birthfather responds to some paperwork.  We should know the answer next week and based on that information our attorney feels confident that we can move forward towards finalization!  I couldn't believe it when he said that and I have been praying so hard that things go in our favor.

It's crazy to me how different the adoption laws are from state to state.  Maryland requires three post-placement visits and you cannot finalize sooner than 6 months after placement.  Indiana requires only two post-placement visits and there is no time restraint.  Unfortunately another difference is that you cannot finalize in Indiana with an expired homestudy and ours expires next month.  In Maryland it only matters that the homestudy is updated at the time of placement, not finalization.

So this means we now have to update our homestudy according to the Maryland laws - which require more paperwork than Indiana.  And it's because of Indiana's laws that we have to do it in the first place!  Does that make sense?  In the scheme of things it's not a big deal - but it means more money and more work over here getting paperwork together.  I'm so over this part of adoption.

It was surreal to introduce Molly to our social worker.  She visited us three times for the first homestudy, then three times for Tommy's post-placement visits, then three times for the second homestudy and now she will visit us again three more times.  Again, it's all worth it.  But really, how much more do we have to talk about with her?? 

Today Molly also had her one-month check-up with the pediatrician.  She is doing really well and I couldn't believe that she had gained two pounds in two weeks!  She now weighs 9 pounds 2 ounces.  We continue to adjust to our new routines and last night she slept a really long stretch for the first time.  Fingers crossed it happens again tonight! 

Speaking of which, it's really late and I need to get to bed.  These bright eyes will be waiting for me sometime soon to eat...

Molly looks concerned that her big brother is holding her. 

New Reality

This week was our first glimpse of what this new reality will be like in our home.  I'm happy to say that it was a good week!  Hopefully we will continue adjusting and settling into this new normal.

My parents left after a wonderful visit and I went back to work.  Last Sunday night was the kickoff party for the high school youth group at church and I was really happy with how it turned out.  We had a good group that included all four grade levels, which hasn't happened in a long time.  I really hope they continue coming all year long!

I will be teaching Monday and Wednesday mornings from 8:30-10:15, the same schedule as last year.  Our dear friend (Dot Dot) who has watched Tommy for the last two years will be watching both kids.  She does this out of the kindness of her heart and I am so grateful for this special relationship we have formed.  What started out as a "volunteer" job for her has turned into a very close bond between our two families.  I will never be able to repay her for all she has given our family, but I know that she truly loves my kids and enjoys all the time she spends with them. 

I know this year will be a bit more stressful for me trying to manage my part-time jobs with two kids, but for now I feel good about everything.  The one thing I have given up is singing for Mass.  Between cantoring, singing with the choir and rehearsals it was just too much time.  Especially since it's precious weekend time for our family of four to be together.  I'm really looking forward to attending Mass as a family (or at least having more flexibility if we don't bring both kids!)  The parish where I sing has a children's Mass and I think Tommy will soon be old enough to participate in the children's liturgy (they leave before the First Reading and return right before Communion.)

Molly continue to grow, change and overall do really well.  She turned one month old on September 20 and I'm curious what her weight will be at her appointment on Wednesday.  She seems much better on her new formula although she still is very gassy and has times where she's irritable and uncomfortable.  She's not having many spit-ups, but I'm concerned that it might be a form of reflux.  I'm going to wait and see what the pediatrician says this week. 

Tommy is slowly adjusting to his role as big brother and having a baby sister.  He's getting better at playing independantly and allowing me to feed Molly her bottles.  He is still having a few sleep issues, but I think it's all to be expected after the crazy month we have had.

My hubby's co-workers threw him a surprise shower this week which was so sweet!  Also, he is participating in a fellowship and unfortunately it required him to be gone overnight last night.  Despite the bad timing, I'm proud of myself that everything went ok during my first night alone.  One thing I haven't done yet is leave the house with both kids.  Not sure how to do that yet since we don't have a double stroller.  Any advice on double strollers??

Since both kids are napping right now I'm trying to run around and get a few things accomplished.  I've been pretty bad at blogging and returning emails, and I'm so behind on thank-you cards!  Although I'm sure people understand.  It's going to take me a little while to figure out how I will get everything done.

Here are a few pictures from our week...

 

 

 

 

Settling In

Wow, where has the time gone? The last week or so has been a blur. I honestly have lost track of all the days, nights and in between.

We are doing our best to settle into this new life as a family of four and establish new routines. But life with a newborn is anything but routine.

Overall we are getting by ok, but I forgot about the learning curve involved with a new baby. I don't enjoy all the trial and error that is involved! We are trying to figure out Miss Molly and all her likes/dislikes. :)

She has moments where she is happy and calm, and other moments where she is fussy and irritable. She has been very gassy and was spitting up a bit, so we switched formula and she seems to be doing better. But there are still moments when I can tell she is wanting to sleep and has trouble getting there. I hope we can quickly learn all the tricks to keep her happy.

Tommy is doing ok adjusting, but his world has definitely been rocked. He's usually not too happy when he sees me holding or feeding the baby. I'm doing my best to have quality time with him each day, but that doesn't seem to help a ton. My parents are here which has been a big help. But I think that is also throwing Tommy a bit. Between all that time in Indiana and now having a new baby, he's going through a lot of change. Unfortunately his sleep has been disrupted and he has had trouble falling asleep for naps and bedtime. I'm hoping this changes soon!

I'm trying to figure out my new normal as well. How will I get things done now? It's been stressful so far, but I know that this all takes time, and I'm hoping we get through this settling in phase quickly.

I haven't taken any pictures in days so I finally snapped a few today with my phone. It will be a good day tomorrow if I can manage a shower and also take a few pictures before Molly isn't a newborn anymore!

Home

There's no place like home...  home sweet home...  it's true!  We are home and so glad to be settling into our new life as a family of four. 

Now that we are home I feel the pressure to get a lot of things done.  And yet I don't know where the time (or the day!) goes.  In a way, the hospital stay was a blessing because we had some quality time with both Tommy and Molly - although we were rarely all together.  We only had to focus on each other and not work or anything else. 

In some ways we are in survival mode right now.  Molly doesn't have her own room yet, which is fine, but her stuff is all over the house.  Eek!  My parents will be here on Sunday, so I'm mostly trying to prepare for their arrival.  (Did I mention that this trip was planned long before we learned about Molly?  So crazy!  Especially since the same thing happened when Tommy was born.)

Anyways, I'm trying to get the guest bedroom ready for them and right now Molly's things are everywhere.  All of a sudden I feel like every room of our house is full of so much stuff!  I'm sure she will sleep in the bassinet in our room for a least a couple of months, but we are trying to figure out how to make our third bedroom work.  Right now it serves as part office, part storage and part guestroom. We will focus on this after my parents leave.

My hubby is at work this week so I've had my first experience of being alone with two kids.  For the most part it's been fine and Tommy has been a trooper.  Sometimes he tells me to put the baby down when I'm feeding her a bottle - "bye bye baby."  But I'm hoping that he will continue to adjust. 

Our dear friend who watches Tommy a few hours a week while I teach has been a huge help.  She and her daughter were the ones who joined us in Indiana for a few days and Tommy drove back in their car.  She came over in the afternoon yesterday and today to take him on an outing.  I'm SO grateful for her help!  She is so generous with her time, talent and treasure.  Before we left for Indiana she got Molly a ton of girl clothes and she filled our freezer with dream dinners.  So amazing!

Molly had her first Pediatrician appointment this morning and I'm so happy that she is doing well and weighs 7 lbs 4 oz.  The main issue I'm having with her these days is that she does not burp!  It's the strangest thing!  It causes a few problems because not only does it make her gassy, but she generally doesn't finish her bottle.  And then she's hungry again in 1-2 hours, instead of 3-4 hours.  Any suggestions on how to get her to burp?

I have more pics to post, but I'm out of time. I will leave you with one from my latest amateur photo session with Molly.

Catching Up

I was trying to post every day so that I could keep a journal of our time in Indiana, but things got hectic and I was too exhausted in the evening to blog.  So I'm going to catch up on a few things from last week so I will have it documented here. 

On Wednesday our good friends from Maryland arrived to help us out.  They stayed in our hotel and spent time with Tommy so my hubby and I could actually have some time together.  It was so helpful to have some extra hands around.  And it was great for my hubby and I to have some time with Molly together. 

On Thursday Molly had an "off" day.  She was really fussy, had an upset stomach and was not feeding well.  Her stomach was constantly rumbling, she had diarrhea and was so unhappy.  This was her first time to have any of these symptoms after a perfect week of weaning.  We were definitely concerned and afraid she wouldn't be discharged on time. 

The nurses weren't sure what was the cause - the morning nurse had given her the wrong dose of clonidine (she weaned her one dose too early,) it was her first day with no morphine, and also she had switched formulas (from the premie formula to a regular one.)

We had to leave the hospital for a couple of hours around dinner time to meet with our social worker.  When I got back to the hopsital the nurse told me that Molly got a high number for her withdrawal score.  I was afraid that she was taking a step backwards and it was frustrating that the nurses weren't sure what was the cause.  I ended up spending the night in her room because she was only calm/peaceful while she was being held and rocked. 

Her midnight feeding went well and she actually laid down to sleep.  The nurses told me to sleep and that they would wake me if need be.  They did her 3am feeding and in the morning she was much better!  It seems that the formula was to blame so we are back on the premie formula for now.  (The NICU pediatrician put her on it the day after she was born when her feedings weren't going well.)  We will try to switch again later, but not until we see our Pediatrician at home.

At some point on Thursday we realized that Molly could be discharged on Friday evening since the nurse had accidentally speeded up her weaning.  The 24 hour observation period ended at 6:30pm on Friday and we were able to leave that night.  It was so wonderful to unhook her from all the monitors and drive away from the hospital with her! 

Here are some pics that I finally downloaded from the good camera...

Yawn!  Where is this baby you've been talking about?

 

 Looking through the nursery window.

Playing in the waiting room.

Our first view of Molly through the nursery window!

First glimpse of Molly up close after they let me in.

My view from inside the nursery.

 

Holding hands.



Hanging out in Labor and Delivery.  This was our room for two days! Tommy was watching some cartoons.

Under the heater when her temps were low.

Hanging out in our room in Peds - Tommy was having a snack and watching Netflix on my phone.

Our view of the courtyard...  can you see Tommy playing with his ball?

 
Snuggling with Miss Molly.

Kisses for my sweet boy. 

Gentle kiss for his baby sister.

Our first family photo. 

In the NICU with a feeding tube.

Up close just a few hours after delivery.