Where am I???

Whoa, has it really been a week since I posted? I really have lost track of all time and space. Where am I? What's going? Ha ha... Since we live so far from our families, we generally travel for at least a week to see them. I feel like I've been gone forever! It's been soooooo wonderful to have all this quality, relaxing time with our families. But it's also been emotional at times. I often have some emotional swings while I'm home with my family, but it has been a bit stronger this trip. (I will have to post more about that later.)

Overall we have been having so much fun... celebrating all the Christmas traditions with both our families. We're in California right now and the weather is amazing - in the mid-70s during the day. Yesterday we were at the beach and it was so beautiful!! It's really weird to think that I haven't lived here in almost 8 years. That is so hard for me to believe. There is so much that I miss here, even though I know that I am right where God wants me to be.

Today we are going to the Rose Bowl Luncheon. I'm so excited! My goal is to get a picture with Pete Carroll (the USC coach) and my hubby wants to get a pic with Joe Paterno (the Penn State coach.) I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Tonight we'll just hang out with my parents and tomorrow morning we are celebrating "Christmas morning" with my family - including my brother and his wife. Then I will be focused on my friends wedding. So much going on!

I have kept you all in my thoughts and prayers, even while on vacation! You are never far from my heart. :)

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas everyone! We are having a wonderful and relaxing time here in Nebraska with my hubby's family. Our nieces are seriously the cutest things ever! They are 7 and 2 1/2 and are a ball of fun. We've been playing with them all day and night. Tonight we will go to Christmas Eve Mass and then open up all our presents. So fun!

On Sunday we will fly to California and do Christmas #2 with my family. I haven't been home since the summer so I'm really looking forward to being there. I love my life in Maryland and I know this is where God wants me to be.... but I still do miss my home! It's weird to think that I will probably never live there again. Life is funny (and mysterious.) I'm also a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding on January 2. It will be so wonderful to see her and celebrate her special day! She chose a black dress for us to wear and I really love it. This might be the first time I actually wear a bridesmaids dress again. :)

Merry Christmas everyone! I am counting my blessings during this holy season and thanking God for the many gifts in my life. I pray that we are all filled with peace and hope and joy during this time. May 2009 bring many, many blessings into our lives.

One Year Ago

One year ago we were in Hawaii for Christmas!!! We decided to have a non-traditional Christmas, ditched both our families, and flew to Hawaii on Christmas Day. I seriously can't believe it's been a year since then... where does the time go? I thought I'd post a few pictures from our amazing trip. It was so much fun for just the two of us to do something a little crazy and different. Although this year I am ready for all the traditional celebrations. It will be wonderful to see both our families. We fly out tomorrow morning! :)

Doctor's Follow Up

I had my post-op appointment with the surgeon yesterday. Overall it was pretty quick. We discussed the surgery and she showed me pictures from the laparoscopy. It's pretty cool to see inside of yourself! I had one good-sized spot of endo on my right uterosacral(?) ligament. She said it was growing pretty deep, but she was able to remove all of it. She also found one smaller spot of endo growing somewhere behind my left ovary. Everything else looked healthy and fine!

It's amazing to me how much of Endometriosis is still a mystery, even to the medical world. I was inquiring about how you get it, how it actually causes infertility, etc. Dr. L said that the main theory today is that you are probably born with it... when your body is being formed, the endometrium cells didn't make it into the uterus but got stuck outside and eventually develop into endometriosis. She also said they aren't exactly sure how it causes infertility. For some people with severe endo, it physically can block ovulation, fertilization or implantation. For others with milder cases, it can cause infertility chemically by screwing up the hormones. (My words, not hers!) Does all of this sound familiar to you? Is this what you all have heard too?

Dr. L would like to keep me on Tamoxifen to help regulate my hormone levels. (She said that the majority of endo patients do have some hormonal dysfunction - so there is a connection there.) Since I'm on Day 10 of my cycle, I will have to start up again next cycle. She ordered a Peak + 7 blood test to see what my levels are like. Although she did say, "Or maybe you'll be pregnant by then!" She said that based on my age, my health and the success of the surgery we have an 80% chance of conceiving. Those numbers are pretty good! But of course she warned me that some couples get prego right away, while others still take 1-2 years. You just never know.

Of course this is wonderful news! I am so grateful to God for a successful surgery and for finding the PROBLEM!! After all this time of mystery and confusion. It's been a whirlwind since the surgery... between recovering and the holiday craziness. I haven't really had time to reflect it all. Until yesterday, it hadn't really hit me that we had truly found the problem and hopefully solved it!

I am thankful for the gift of peace that the Lord has given me recently. It's too difficult to handle the high-highs and the low-lows. So I am not "expecting" much right now. I will just continue to wait and see and put it all in His hands.

Whew!

I can tell that things are crazy because I haven't posted in a couple of days. Where does the time go? The holidays are such a beautiful time of year, but it's difficult not to get overwhelmed and stressed out with so much going on.

I'm really trying hard to simplify as much as possible... that has been my mantra lately. In an ideal world I would have had all my shopping, wrapping, packing, shipping, baking, cooking, letter-writing, singing, rehearsing, grading, cleaning, and errand-running finished weeks ago! But alas, I live in the real world. :) Unfortunately we have missed quite a few events and parties in the last couple of weeks - partially due to my surgery. (My hubby's two work parties were both that weekend.) But sometimes it's just not possible to do it all. So I am trying to focus on what is most important and simplify the rest!

I have my women's prayer group this Thursday night and I am really looking forward to that. I feel guilty that I haven't made the most of this Advent season. I hope to have a little quiet time at adoration before going to my prayer group. Friday is our last day of school and Saturday morning we are heading out of town! We'll spend a week in Nebraska with my hubby's family and then a week in California with mine. Hopefully then we will truly be able to rest, relax, and rejoice in this beautiful season.

Oh, I wanted to post a picture of this beautiful wall-hanging that I found at Hallmark. As you can see, it's my quote! Not only do I take such comfort in the words of this passage, but everytime it pops up in my life I feel as if God is reminding me again to trust in Him. Every once in awhile I will hear it at Mass, see it in a card or something like that. I haven't decided where to hang it yet in my house, but I want to find a place where I will see it often!

Visit to Urgent Care

I ended up making a trip to the urgent care last night. My belly-button incision has been looking worse all week! Even though I had been treating it with hydrogen perioxide for a couple of days now. I wish I had asked the nurse at my doctor's office what they suggested if it didn't get better, but oh well.

Last night when we got home from work I showed it to my hubby and he suggested I get it looked at just to be on the safe side. The doctor swabbed(?) it to take a culture just to make sure everything was ok and put me on antibiotics for a week. My post-op appointment is next Wednesday with Dr. L, so I didn't want to wait that long to have it looked at! You just never know with infections. I had really hoped to do some other things last night instead of hanging out in the waiting room... but oh well! TGIF. :)

Feeling Good

Overall I continue to feel good this week! I am really looking forward to my follow up appointment next Wednesday. I have started coming up with a list of question for Dr. L and of course it will be good to hear from her about the surgery and see the pictures.

Thanks to everyone who has left comments everytime I ask for advice! I do think that my belly button incision was/is a little infected, but it seems to be improving. I called the nurse line at my doctor's office on Tuesday and they suggested washing it out three times a day with diluted hydrogen peroxide, so thankfully that seems to have helped. Also, I can't even begin to tell you HOW MUCH I've been bleeding these past couple of days! Seriously, I don't know where all the blood is coming from! Generally my charting looks like this when I start my period: M, H, H, L, VL, VL. So far I'm going on five straight H days. (Ok, as I'm typing this, I'm realizing that this might be the status quo for some of you!) But it's not usual for me, so it's got me a little concerned. I'm just not used to it. Especially since I'm not allowed to use tampons this cycle... that is making it a whole different experience for me. Ugh. It just feels gross, makes me feel tired and just overall "blah." Not to mention that it's tough as a teacher to run to the bathroom 100 times a day!

Ok, enough about that. Time keeps flying by so quickly. I can't believe that school will be out next week and then we're heading out of town! There is so much to do before then - I'm a little worried about getting it all done. I can't remember if I've posted about this or not, but we will get to see both families during the holidays this year, so that will be nice. We'll head to Nebraska first to spend a week with my hubby's family and then head to California to spend a week with my family. I am a bridesmaid in my friends wedding on Jan 2nd so I'm looking forward to that! I'm a little worried about packing for this trip - cold-weather clothes for Nebraska, warm-weather clothes for California, Christmas gifts for both families (including lots of toys for my two neices!!) and clothes/stuff for the wedding. Yikes! Unfortunately packing is LAST on my long list of things to do, so it will probably happen the night before we leave. ;)

Questions and Update

Those of you who've had a lap done... how many days did you bleed afterwards? When did your next cycle begin? Just curious because after the surgery I had a couple of days of bleeding followed by a couple of days of spotting until it pretty much stopped. All of a sudden last night I started bleeding again - pretty heavily - and it has continued today. I'm also feeling what I would consider my "usual" symptoms of my period. So I'm wondering if it's possible that my new cycle just happened to start. Today is technically day 24 of my current cycle (the surgery was on day 19.) How many cycles should be screwed up because of the surgery? Two? Any advice is appreciated!

Overall I'm feeling great. I did go home yesterday after lunch and just took it easy. Today I'm feeling fine, just low on energy. Also, I'm a little worried about my incision at my belly button. It's difficult to tell if it's healing ok - especially since it's in an area that gets a lot of movement - ya know? When I sit, stand, etc.

It has been so wonderful to be spoiled with cards, emails, casseroles, flowers, prayers and support. This whole ordeal has reminded me how much I am loved by the people in my life. I am so thankful for that!

Flowers and Feeling Good

I received more flowers (from my brother and sis-in-law) and thought I'd post another picture. They are so beautiful and I just LOVE having flowers in the house! It really brightens up the room and it makes me feel so special and loved.

Overall I'm feeling pretty good. I've taken these past four days to really take it easy and recover. It makes it really hard to go back to school tomorrow!! I will definitely go in the morning since it's a holy day and we have Mass. I have to direct the choir and make sure everything comes together (Mass days are pretty hectic at my school!) Depending on how I feel, I might head home around lunch time. My pain is pretty minimal at this point, but my energy is still pretty low. I don't want to overdo it! Let's be honest... I just want to keep staying at home! ;)

My Day at the Hospital

I meant to post again yesterday, but I didn't quite have the energy to do it. My pain medicine has really helped, but it also makes me groggy and lazy. I seriously laid around the house all day yesterday! I guess that's what recovery is all about. :) It doesn't necessarily make me sleepy, just slow and lazy. I've pretty much been in a fog since I got home.

Overall I'm feeling really good. I'm still pretty sore and tender around my incisions, but as long as I'm taking the pain pills and laying flat - I feel fine. It's once I start moving around that I get uncomfortable. One thing they warned me about (and maybe some of you experienced this as well) is the random pain in my shoulder. Apparently it's a result of the gas they put in me during surgery. It always catches me by surprise! But as soon as I get up, I get this sharp pain in my shoulder and sometimes in my side. So weird! I've also had a bit of a sore throat. Apparently that is from the tube they put down my throat as part of the anesthesia.

Well, here is the story of how Thursday went... we had to arrive at the hospital extra early since they had forgotten to draw my blood at my last appointment. (I don't think I ever posted about that, but I was so frustrated with my doctor's office! They really drop the ball sometimes on the logistics. Thankfully I have full confidence in their medical care, but it can be frustrating sometimes to work with them. AYWH - have you found this???)

Anyways, so we arrived around 6:30am for my 9:30 surgery. They took me back to the pre-op area pretty quickly and we were in that room from 7:00 until 9:30. Since this whole experience was brand new to me (never been in the hospital before and never had surgery) - I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. I was pretty surprised that so many different people came to see me - various nurses, nurse techs, etc. Unfortunately our first encounter with the medical staff was not great. This nurse didn't speak great English, and I understand that she didn't know exactly what I was having surgery for, but I think you will agree that her bedside manner wasn't very professional. This is how the conversation went:

Nurse: (while looking at my chart) You are young! Not married?

Me: Yes, I'm married. To him! (I point to my husband who is sitting right next to her.)

Nurse: Oh, I see. Have any babies?

Me: Nope, that's actually why we're here.

Nurse: Oh really? No babies yet? You work too much?

Me: No, that's not it.

Nurse: Oh, I see. I'm sure you will have many, many babies. So none yet, huh. How many babies do you want?

Me: As many as God gives us.

Nurse: Really?! Like how many?

Me: Well we've been trying and it hasn't work yet, that is why I'm having surgery today. So I will accept as many children as God gives us! (I'm getting a little worked up at this point.)

Nurse: Oh, I'm sorry. Don't worry. You will have many, beautiful babies.

That was pretty much the end of that conversation. After she left, my hubby and I were seriously astounded and annoyed. I looked at him and said, "Are you serious? Was that really our first conversation of the day?" Thankfully we didn't have any more like that one! Later that same nurse came back to start my IV and to draw my blood. At the same time another nurse came in and started asking me questions. Since I'm allergic to Penicillan she was asking me what antibiotics I take. I replied that I can't remember the last time I took antibiotics and that I didn't know. She proceeded to ask me the same question about 40 times!! She kept listing different kinds and asking me if they sounded familiar. I finally looked at my hubby and said, "Am I supposed to know this? I have no idea what antibiotic I should take." She also asked me why I needed my blood drawn that morning and what tests were supposed to be run. I told her that they took my urine sample at the office last week, but other than that I had no idea what else needed to be done. I knew the blood test was mostly to make sure I wasn't pregnant and that I didn't have any infections. I asked her to check my charts to see if the doctor has any of this written down. She seemed confused that I wasn't more helpful to her. When she left I said to my hubby, "Am I supposed to do my own surgery too?"

After all of that was taken care of, we pretty much just waited around for the surgeon to arrive. I was visited by the OR nurse, the anesthesiologist, and the nurse anesthetist(?) and then it was time to get started! I don't remember too much about them rolling me back to the OR. Although I do remember the nurse asking me how I was feeling. Then she said, "Oh, we have a giggler!" I remember being confused and thinking, "Why is she saying that? I'm not giggling." But apparently I was. ;)

Next thing I know I'm waking up in the recovery room. I remember feeling cold - I was shivering and my teeth were chattering - and I felt the urge to cough, so I pulled the mask off my face. After waking up a bit more, I started crying and couldn't stop! I felt embarassed and I said to the nurse, "I don't know why I'm crying but I can't help it." She told me not to worry and that it was a pretty common side effect of the anesthesia for young people. Crazy!

I stayed in the first recovery room for about an hour. I was slowly waking up and I actually was bleeding quite a bit. So she wanted to make sure that it was a normal amount, and nothing out of the ordinary. Finally I was rolled into the second recovery room where I flagged down a nurse to get my hubby. I was dying to see him because I knew that he would have the results! As I was waking up I just kept thinking, "It's over, what did she find? What did she find?" At one point I heard my doctor get paged to Labor and Delivery and I got worried that maybe she hadn't talked to my hubby yet! But thankfully she had spoken to him right away.

As soon as he came into my room he told me that she diagnosed it as mild endometriosis. It was mostly concentrated in one area, but there was a tiny spot in a second location. The one thing my hubby can't remember is where they were located. But apparently she showed him pictures and explained it all to him. She said everything else looks good - my ovaries and tubes all look normal. She was able to remove everything and she was pleased with the results!

I stayed in the second recovery room for probably another hour and half. When I got up for the first time I was super dizzy and had to sit down. That is such an awful feeling! I seriously thought I was going to pass out. But I probably had just gotten up too quickly. A little later I was able to walk to the bathroom and move around better. Then we headed home!

My hubby has been SO AMAZING!!! Seriously he is taking such good care of me. He has been cooking, cleaning and going to the store. He has been waiting on me hand and foot. It's been so wonderful! Overall I have felt so loved and cared for. I've received lots of messages and flowers and casseroles. It's been so nice. I haven't had too much of an appetite, but I have been addicted to Ginger Ale!! I can't remember the last time I had Ginger Ale, but they gave me some at the hospital and I've been craving it ever since. My hubby went out and bought some and I've been drinking it ever since I got home!

My follow-up appointment is Wednesday, Dec 17th. I will have my bandages removed (apparently I didn't get any stitches, just steri-strips or something like that) and she will go over all the details and pictures with me. I'm really curious how the surgery affected my current cycle and my next cycle. I've been bleeding (lightly) since the surgery... does that mean I'll still have a period next week? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Overall the experience has been pretty surreal. I am so grateful for a successful surgery and I have been thanking God that it all went well. Although, I'm surprised that I'm not jumping for joy at the news. (Ok, not really "jumping," but you know what I mean.) As I had written earlier, this truly was the best case scenario - mild endo that was removed and easily taken care of! I think I'm so used to protecting my heart and not getting my hopes up too high. I'm too cautious to start thinking, "This is it! Our problems are fixed!" Only time will tell. Right now I am happy with the results and truly thankful for a successful surgery. We will continue to take it one step at a time!

Well, if you've made it this far... thanks for reading such a long post! And thanks for all the love and support you've given me! It truly means so much.

Home... and feeling good!

Just wanted to post briefly to say I'm home and feeling good. Thanks for all your prayers! Dr. L found mild endo in two places - one was very small and the other was a "good size." She was able to excise both. I'll post more later with the fun hospital stories. For now I am praising God for a successful surgery and what seems to be good news! Thanks again for all your prayers and support. I was thinking of you during this day! :)

Advice?

So for those of you who've been here before... any surgery advice for me? All of a sudden, I feel like there are things I should be doing that I'm not!! What should I be doing?

Also, I was curious if your doctors spoke with you after the surgery. At my last appointment I forgot to ask her this question. When I asked one of the nurses she said that Dr. L would come out to speak with my hubby but probably would not see me until the post-op appointment (two weeks after.) Does that sound right? Also, should I expect her to have news and results immediately? Obviously she should tell my hubby what she saw and did, right? Just curious...

Flowers

These were waiting for me when I came home tonight... I just love getting flowers!! My hubby is such a sweetie. :)