Ignatius

Today is the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola. 

I have always been attracted to Ignatian Spirituality.  After graduating from college I spent a year with JVC - the Jesuit Volunteer Corps.  This is what brought me to DC (I was planning to volunteer for a year and then go back to California...  that was 11 years ago!) and it's how I met my dear sweet husband. :)


Some of the best spiritual reading I have done revolves around Ignatian Spirituality.  "The Discernment of Spirits" is a great tool for discerning the movement of God in your life.  I'm realizing that I need to read this one again!

I read "My Life with the Saints" by James Martin, SJ after my husband highly recommended it.  We've both been hooked on Martin ever since.  He is an excellent writer and I've really enjoyed his books. 

This link gives you a little more information about Ignatian Spirituality.  I will end with the famous Suscipe Prayer written by St. Ignatius:


"Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will,
All I have and possess. You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.  Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me."

St. Ignatius, pray for us!

Spontaneous

Last week I took a spontaneous trip to California with Tommy.  I had been thinking about it for a little while but hadn't said anything to my husband.  On Thursday afternoon I called him at work and I know I caught him completely off guard!  That night I booked our flights (thanks to my parents who helped with Tommy's ticket - I can't believe we have to start paying for his seat now!)  We left just a few days later on Monday morning and stayed until Saturday morning.  I'm so grateful that my husband is so supportive, despite my crazy ideas. He is so good to me.

Even though it was a short trip, I'm so glad I went.  After a month of ups and downs with our adoption situation it was good to get away.  We aren't traveling as much as we usually do this summer.  Plus I had been feeling a little stir crazy after being stuck in the house with the instense heat around here.

My parents just finished months of renovations on their backyard and we spent most of our time there in the pool. Tommy is my parents only grandchild and I know they cherish every second with him. I was glad to have some quality time with my brother and sister-in-law since they have had so much going on with their recent miscarriage and buying a new house. I also had some girl time with my BFF and her three sweet girls, although we didn't take any pictures!  Probably because we were either talking or chasing the kids.  It was nice to be home.

Fun times on the beach.

Lunch at Bruxie - everyone at home has been talking about this place and I finally got to experience it.  Everything is made with their delicious waffles!

We went to the park every morning - it's so lovely that the mornings and evenings are cool.

Swimming!

Helping Grandpa sweep

At the Angels game with my brother and sister-in-law.  Go Halos!

New Agency

Yesterday I mailed in our paperwork (plus a big check) to a new adoption agency.  It feels good to be moving in a new direction!  We will still be working with our current agency, but they suggested we branch out since things have been slow. 

It's been a stressful couple of weeks trying to make these decisions.  Since May we have heard about 4 potential birthmother situations.  The first three felt like a long-shot: facilitators had contacted our social worker looking for more profiles to show their clients.  We of course sent ours along, but had no idea how many others were sent. 

The fourth situation that we heard about seemed like a much more realistic possibility.  It was closer to home and the birthmother would only be viewing our profile.  (Her agency contacted our agency because they didn't have any profiles that matched her requirements.)  For about two weeks it seemed that this might actually happen, but she decided to place her child with a relative. 

I continue to hope and pray that the right child will find us at the right time.  Even though it's not easy to wait or to ride these ups and downs, I know that the Lord has a plan for our lives. 

Other than that we don't have too much going on over here.  Tommy is taking AquaTots swim lessons (with me!) and we're also taking a great music class.  The weather has been so hot that it's hard to play outdoors unless we go to the pool. 

Of course he's waking up from his nap as I try to post this... so I will have to write more later!  :)

Doubt

"The Incredulity of St. Thomas," by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

"Poor 'Doubting Thomas.' St. Thomas the Apostle doubts once and gets saddled with that unfortunate moniker for all of human history. Which seems rather unfair. His friend Peter not only doubted but denied Jesus at a most crucial moment, and what happened to him? He is called 'Prince of the Apostles' and has a basilica named after him in Rome.

After all, Thomas had reason to doubt. Jesus come back from the dead? Are you kidding me? Preposterous. His friends, he must thought, were laboring under some mass delusion. Jesus may have picked Thomas for his probing mind, or his inability to be deceived, so perhaps Thomas was simply more demanding when it came to proof. On the other hand, perhaps Thomas should have believed what so many of his friends, so many witnesses, had told him. I wonder if the rest of the disciples, filled with joy at what they had seen, were annoyed at him. Spoilsport!

But Jesus isn’t annoyed at all. Notice that Jesus doesn’t castigate Thomas, or say, as he did to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan,' when Peter had not understood things completely. No, Jesus begins by saying to the assembled crowd, 'Peace be with you.'

Then what does he do? Does he scold Thomas? Does he condemn him before the group? Does he cast him out of the community? No, he gives Thomas what he needs. Thomas needs physical proof? Jesus will give it to him.  'Put your fingers here and see my hands.'  Then he gently reminds others about the value of faith.

Jesus gives Thomas exactly what he needs to help him with his doubt. Just as Jesus does with the other individuals to whom he appears. Later, at the Breakfast by the Sea, in the Gospel of John, he will meet up with Peter. Jesus knows that Peter needs forgiveness after denying him three times during his Passion. So Jesus gives him the opportunity to reconcile—three times. When he meets the grieving Mary Magdalene at the tomb, she is overcome with sadness, and can’t even recognize him. What does she need? Just to hear her name: “Mary.” And that’s just what he gives her.

The Risen Christ is gentle with doubters, with those who need reconciliation, and with those who are so confused that they cannot see him. Are we?  Look at the way Jesus deals with doubt. He shows. He forgives. He calls someone’s name. In such gentle ways are people brought to know Jesus."

-Fr. James Martin, SJ 

Weird Week of Ups and Downs

It has been a crazy, weird week around here with a lot of ups and downs.  I don't know what other adjectives to use.  So I will just list all the things we've had going on around here. 


Last Saturday my hubby came home from his week-long silent retreat.  It was a wonderful experience for him and I'm so grateful that he has such a strong prayer life.  I know that when I'm going through dry times in my spiritual life that I can rely on him to get me through.  We had a nice family weekend together since we had been apart - went to the pool, out to dinner, Mass, shopping and the park.  The Italian restuarant where we ate gives kids a little piece of pizza dough to play with and/or eat if they want.  It kept him very entertained while we waited for our meal!

That same day we received some really sad news:  my sister-in-law had a miscarriage and lost the baby.  I am so sad for her and my brother and pray that they will be blessed with new life again soon.  My sister-in-law was supposed to be in DC for a conference this week and was going to spend some time with us. but had to cancel the trip since she was recovering from surgery.  I pray that God will help them get through this difficult time together. 

Monday I had a long conversation with our adoption social worker.  I wanted to get clarification from her about a few things, including the out-of-state referrals she sent our way recently via an adoption facilitator.  It turns out that our agency is VERY slow these days and is not working with many birthmothers.  Considering that they have 72 families on the waiting list, this is a problem.  She suggested that we begin working with another agency/attorney/facilitator in addition to staying on our waiting list.  This was disappointing to say the least. We have already given them a lot of our time and money.

So I immediately started calling around to some other agencies/faciliators to get information about their programs.  It was so overwhelming.  These agencies are all over the country and each operates a little differently.  It's so frustrating to feel like we are starting completely over.  For a couple of days I spent all of my time making phone calls and sending emails.  My hubby and I talked about all the possibilities and tried to figure out how which direction to go.

Monday night I also received some amazing news from a friend.  Since my blog is public I cannot share the specifics, but I mention it because it was great news after an otherwise down day.  It filled me with great hope about God's timing and His plans.


Tommy and I made it to daily Mass on Tuesday.  He loves to run up to the altar when Mass is over and he usually says "hi" to the sisters.  (Three nuns live in the convent attached to the church.)  After Mass one of the sisters asked if Tommy wanted to visit the small convent chapel.  He was so excited and loved every minute - especially since she let him go up close to the altar.

Wednesday my hubby got us last-minute-discount tickets to see the musical "Memphis."  It was a fun and spontaneous night out.  We love to see shows whenever we can, especially at the Kennedy Center since that is where we got engaged.  :)  And the view from the terrace was absolutely gorgeous as the sun was setting - in this picture you can see the Potomac River and Georgetown.

We had a lot to discuss while we were out because we had heard from our social worker that day about another out-of-state birthmother.  She was relaying the information from another agency.  I immediately called them to say that we are interested.  But yet again, it's hard to know what will happen.  The agency is still working out some important details before moving forward.  We continue to hope and pray that God's will be done. 

Thursday evening my Women's Prayer Group met.  I just love these ladies!  My friend Susan planned the evening around St. Paul - since his feast day was Friday - and we are praying a novena together this week.  I'm so grateful for the love and support from these gals. 

Friday morning I went to a talk at church on the topic of St. Ignatius and the Discernment of Spirits.  It was great and I'm inspired to re-read the book on that topic.  It was perfect timing for me since I was feeling anxious and stressed this week.  I could use a little help with discernment right now.  It was great that they offered child-care, although I generally only leave Tommy with one friend or at the gym daycare.  Thankfully the kids were playing outside and I could see him through the window during the talk.  :) 

We had planned on going camping this weekend.  It was going to be our first time camping with Tommy and we were so excited.  My hubby and I enjoyed camping before he came along, and we recently bought a huge tent that would fit his pack n play.  But we ended up canceling since we had so much else going on and the weather has been crazy.  It's been super hot - over 100 degrees. 

Thankfully we didn't go camping because a wild storm came through here late Friday night and we lost power.  Even though this happens fairly often around here, this one was one of the worst we've seen.  We had hurricane-force winds and a ton of trees and power lines were down.  It was so loud that it woke us and since the power and AC were out we decided to all sleep downstairs where it was cooler.  Here are a few of the trees down in our neighborhood:

Saturday we decided to book a hotel room.  The power outage was really widespread and we were afraid that power wouldn't come back for awhile.  The majority of the traffic lights were out in our county and it was surreal to drive around with so much damage.  We had a nice afternoon swimming in the hotel pool and went out to dinner. 

Unfortunately Tommy didn't like sleeping in the hotel room.  He was up most of the night.  Ugh!  :(  We had an early breakfast at IHOP and noticed a lot of power trucks in the parking lot.  They had just arrived from New Jersey to help restore power in our area.  Crazy!

Thankfully the power was on when we returned home this morning.  We are so lucky because only the right half of our street has power.  Our neighbors immediately to the left still don't have it.  Thank you Lord that ours works!  Although our church didn't have power yet.  Mass only lasted 25 minutes since it was like an oven inside.  I'm heading to bed right now and hoping for a calmer week.

**Just noticed this is my 400th post.  Hard to believe!  :)