What is next for our family??

I have been such a bad blogger lately. I guess it's mostly because of Christmas, traveling, etc. I feel like I'm often (always?) behind on many things - including the blog - but thankfully it doesn't stress me out too much. I know that I can always blame Tommy and being a mom! :) As I've mentioned before, I always hope to post about something interesting, insightful, or reflective. I get a lot of ideas in my head throughout the day, but I'm too exhausted in the evening to actually blog. So you will have to settle for a hodge-podge of updates here and there.

One big topic in our house lately is what is next for our family? Obviously the start of a new year brings about many reflections on the past year and resolutions for the upcoming year.

2010 was a year of miracles for us. We took our amazing pilgrimage in the spring and just three weeks later got the call to adopt Tommy. We couldn't have been more surprised, and more thrilled. Everything else in our life was put on hold or at least took a backseat, and I really don't know what happened from May until now. In a way it has been one big blur. But a beautiful blur. :) Thank you Lord!

For the past couple of months my hubby and I have been discussing what is next for our family. Our adoption agency allows couples to get back on the waiting list 9 months after adopting. Tommy will be 9 months on February 12 and we are excited to get back on the waiting list as soon as we can!

I also feel very strongly that I need to get back on the wagon regarding my infertility. I have "crossed over" in the sense that I am a mother. This was what I longer for and desired so badly, and in a sense I have left the IF club. I am now a member of the mom's club.

But I am still infertile. My body is still broken and barren. I still long to conceieve, to be pregnant, and to have more children. I know that the Lord can work a miracle whenever and however He chooses. But I also know that I need to get better medical care to figure out what the heck is going on with my body.

For the past couple of months I have been waiting to see if my husband's work was going to change insurance. Praise the Lord, they did change and Dr. S in Pennsylvania is now covered. I really can't believe our luck (God's providence!) and I called immediately to set-up an appointment.

You may or may not remember that I met with him last spring for a consultation. Based on my medical history and his physical exam he recommended surgery - a selective HSG to see if my tubes are blocked and a laparoscopy to see if any endo has returned. He suspects that it has.

He also ordered a hormone panel (bloodwork every other day for a month!) which I was in the process of completing when we adopted Tommy. I remember vividly sitting in the lab waiting room to get my blood drawn furiously reading "What to Expect the First Year." It was such a surreal moment to realize that we were becoming parents overnight and were so unprepared!

I was tempted to stop getting my blood drawn that week, but I really didn't want to waste all the effort I had put in that month. Those of you who have had this done know what an ordeal it is to get to the lab every other day for a month. Plus the fact that Tommy was born 7 days after we first thought gave me a little extra time to finish the panel.

Anyways, since then I haven't done anything else to work towards restoring my fertility. I had two follow-up appointments with Dr. S that I ended up canceling. I haven't charted AT ALL for the past 8 months and it has been so liberating! But I am ready to start fresh and hopefully discover the source of my problem.

After setting up the appointment with Dr. S (the first available was late February) I asked the scheduler what, if anything, I should do in the meantime. I told her that he had recommended surgery and asked if we could go ahead and schedule that. Being my impatient self, I figured why wait until February?? She spoke with the doctor and he agreed. I am waiting to hear back from his office with my surgery date.

Even though the surgery is outpatient and the recovery time is minimal, it's a bit more complicated with Tommy in the picture and the fact that I am a long-distance patient. Once I get the surgery date my hubby and I will have to figure out how to make it work.

I am excited about the possibilities that 2011 brings. I hope and pray that I will finally get solid treatment and discover the cause of my infertility.