Thursday March 25, the Solemnity of the Annunciation, is when we leave for our pilgrimage. I know I mentioned this before, but I didn't realize the date when my husband booked our flights last fall. The significance of this date has been popping up more and more as we prepare for our trip. I don't generally ask God for signs as part of my prayer, but I definitely feel God's presence when I start noticing them.
We have been praying the consecration to the Blessed Mother by St. Louis de Monfort and March 25 is one of the dates he suggests making the consecration. I was so excited when I learned this and saying these prayers every night together has been a great way to prepare our hearts. We will make the consecration in the morning before we head to the airport.
Last week I read a book about Lourdes and St. Bernadette. It was great to learn (and re-learn) the details about her life and the Blessed Mother's apparitions to her. I knew they began on February 11, since that is the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. But I didn't realize that it was on March 25 that the Blessed Mother told St. Bernadette her name was the Immaculate Conception. (This was a big deal because the "Lady" hadn't revealed herself to Bernadette yet. Also, it was this revelation that helped prove to the authorities these apparitions were legitimate. The Church had only proclaimed Mary the Immaculate Conception four years earlier, so a simple peasant girl had no way of knowing this Church teaching yet.)
I also learned that everytime a new building, church, or shrine opened in Lourdes, they almost always dedicated it on March 25 of that year. Obviously it's an important Marian feast day, so I am thrilled to begin our journey on this day.
This morning after Mass I read the readings for Thursday. The reflection said: The Annunciation heralds the beginning of our salvation. By Mary's obedient "fiat," the earth has become heaven. "In Jesus, God has placed, in the midst of barren, despairing mankind, a new beginning which is not a product of human history but a gift from above" (Pope Benedict XVI.) All that our heart cries out for became flesh in Mary's womb.
Wow. I can really relate to the Pope's words. Obviously I relate to anything talking about barrenness and despair! :) But more than that this passage gives me hope that whatever happens on this pilgrimage will be a new beginning and a gift from above. Mary's Fiat is what we are all called to - saying yes to God's will in our lives. Above all, this is what the Annunciation is about and this has become my deepest prayer.
The first reading from Isaiah talks about signs from God. Ahaz says, "I will not ask or tempt the Lord!" But Isaiah responds by saying that God wants to give us signs. And the ultimate sign will be Jesus and His virgin mother Mary. I feel like I am seeing signs everywhere, but like Ahaz I have thought that I shouldn't ask specifically for them. I realize now that this is another way that I have been defensive and protective of my heart. What if I don't get the sign I ask for? I don't want to be disappointed, so I just won't ask.
I still struggle with this... I know we are supposed to ask, knock and seek and believe that we WILL receive. But what happens when we don't? Our prayers should always have the caveat of "thy will be done" and in that sense we will always receive the answer to our prayer. I am realizing that God wants us to pray with reckless abandon and child-like faith. Our hope is in the Lord, and He will not disappoint. Why should we ever hold anything back?
very true and beautiful thoughts...........I know you'll have a wonderful time. pray for all of us...........
ReplyDeleteThat's great that you are doing the consecration during Lent. We have the book but have never found the occasion to make the consecration. I wish we would've used Lent this year for it.
ReplyDeleteI think you captured the whole spiritual problem with infertility (well, maybe my whole problem?) in a nutshell: how can you ask with abandon if the answer could be no? It's easy when what you want is something you could really do without ("please let this boy call me" - what silly things have I prayed for over the years?). But what about when it's something you can't understand how you could live without? Why would you invite God to destroy your trust? That sounds insane, I know that, but especially for those of us with strong precedent to have trust issues, preventing people from letting us down is the way we prevent destroying relationships (they're weakened, but not gone, if we lower our expectations). I don't even know how *not* to do that if the need is great and the possibility of failure greater. You have to change what you need from people; otherwise, when they fail you, you hate them. Anyway...this is way too long a rant and a good bit too deranged. So, I hope you have a wonderful pilgrimmage and an amazing time with your husband, and return renewed in your role as a mini-mediatrix of graces for the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome that so many things are lining up with your trip! I will be praying for you guys that it is an awesome, refreshing time!
ReplyDeleteOh, how beautiful! You are a light for all of us.
ReplyDeleteI pray this pilgrimage is an amazing time for you! I will keep you in my prayers during Holy Week. Please add me to your prayer list too! (if yu don't mind)
I hope you and your husband have a fruitful pilgrimage. I definitely understand the fear in asking when you are so worried that the answer will be no.
ReplyDeleteWell said, fellow teacher. That whole "Thy will be done" phrase is the hardest for me in the Our Father.
ReplyDeleteHave a safe trip and thanks for praying for us!! Maybe there's time for me to sneak into your suitcase.
Oh I love when feast days work out like that. You are going to have an amazing trip!
ReplyDeleteYour trip was going to be fantastic before this... now it is off the charts! Thank you for your offers to pray for all of us. You are so kind. Thank you for your reflection on "Thy will be done". It is particularly poignant as we approach Easter and know that Jesus accepted God's will for us.
ReplyDeleteYou're right.. we shouldn't hold anything back! That was one of the biggest sticking points for me. It was so painful to ask and feel as if I didn't receive. It was as if I didn't want to ask big so that I could protect my image of God. The more he said 'no', or really 'wait', the more I felt He wasn't the kind, loving Creator we were told He was. But that's just not true. That was the devil getting at me, telling me lies, that either God really wasn't capable of miracles, or that He didn't want to give them to me (more often I believed the latter).
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds cliche, but I just know that big things are on the horizon for you. Think of it this way - you are going to adopt no matter what, unless you conceive, so either way, you're going to be a mother. It's just a matter of when. And I know the wait is so hard. I know. But I feel that your dawn is coming soon. Pray for your baby who may be in utero right now, while you're there. Pray for your birthmother. Ask for a miracle healing. But what it all comes down to is His will be done. Because His will is the best! Praying for you!
ITA with AYWH's comment. I know the wait is hard, but just remember that you are going to be a mother no matter what. You WILL.
ReplyDeleteI like to remember the wise words, "When God answers a prayer, he never says 'no.' He says 'Yes,' 'Soon,' or "I have something even better planned...'"
Yes, I always hate to ask for a sign (for many of the reasons you listed). I feel like I am testing Him or worried about disappointment if I don’t get my sign. I don’t know what the right answer is, but now I’m too scared to ask for signs.
ReplyDeleteBut, sometimes they’re given to you know matter what. I love how all of this is falling into place for you. This is surely to be a life-changing pilgrimage.