Follow Up

I had my follow-up appointment with Dr. C this afternoon. It was pretty quick. The pathology report confirmed that indeed I did have a polyp. I didn't realize that there was any doubt! But I guess the pathology confirmed that's what was removed and nothing else. I wasn't sure if this appointment required a pelvic exam, but it did. Ugh. I'm seriously over those.

As usual the office was busy with pregnant patients. I was pretty tired and feeling in a bit of a fog. I didn't have any "agenda" for this appointment. I wasn't going to ask for any new treatments or see what she thinks I should do next. Although, I thought Dr. C asked a couple of interesting questions. First she asked if I have been having any cramps. I said that I did have some after the surgery, but apparently she was asking more generally. She said, "Well, I'm just wondering if the endometriosis is back." Ahh!! Not what I want to hear! I told her that I never had very painful periods to begin with. I guess she's just still baffled by my infertility and she's looking for signs of another problem.

She also asked me if we had discussed injections yet. I said that we had, but never discussed a timeline. She suggested that I continue with Tamoxifen for two more months and see what happens. That was fine by me. I don't feel very strongly about it one way or the other.

I'm just so tired of it all. I have this sense that it's completely out of my hands - and the doctor's hands. It's in God's hands. I think that we have (almost) done everything we can in terms of treatment. Our situation feels so much bigger than anything I can do about it. Does that make sense? I feel like all I can do is just wait on the Lord. That's it.

So Dr. C wrote a presciption for Tamoxifen, but since I'm on cycle day 9 I won't be able to take it until next month. I had already filled my prescription for Endometrin, so I think I will take it this month. I do think my luteal phase could use a little support, so I'm going to stick with that. As she was walking out the door she says, "If you get 15 days past ovulation, you know what do to!" I'm glad that at least she's hopeful. After she left I realized that I should probably ask for bloodwork orders, but I didn't chase after her. I figured that I'll be in California anyways. I will worry about it next cycle.

The countdown is on for Christmas break! I'm really looking forward to going "home" for Christmas. If nothing else it will be nice to have a change of pace and scenery. As soon as I get all my wrapping and shipping done, I will feel like I'm almost there. Maybe by tomorrow I'll be finished.