My hubby and I had a coffee date this morning to discuss adoption. We've been discussing adoption on and off for about a year now, ever since we attended information sessions at two different agencies last summer. We both have had mixed feelings about the whole process and recently I was so discouraged to hear that adoption continues to get more and more difficult. Infertility has already given us so much to deal with, it makes me sad that adoption brings with it so many more challenges.
That being said, we have decided to more forward with this new step. We began filling out the paperwork and discussing our plan. For now we are just going to focus on getting homestudy approved. The process can be so long and involved, we figured that we may as well get going. If you remember my earlier post, our local agency has an extremely long waiting list. They sent me a list of out-of-state agencies they suggest we research and possibly use. But for now we are just focusing on this. It feels good to make one step forward!
So much of IF is out of our control - pretty much all of it! I'm sure this is just one (of many) lessons that God is trying to teach me. I try so hard to surrender it all to Him, but some days I just grab control of the reigns again. I have to remind myself daily that all things work for good for those who love the Lord. Some days this is easier than others.
It was helpful to read this post about adoption (thanks Grace in my Heart!!) I still can't get over the idea of advertising and marketing yourself in order to find a baby. But I can say that many things in my life have happened because of word-of-mouth. It can't hurt to tell everyone you know that you're looking to adopt and hope they might know someone. It's all in God's hands, so I pray that I am open to receiving what He has planned for us.
You'll be in my prayers as you begin this new step! It is exciting and I know that everything will work out just as it is supposed to for you!
ReplyDeleteAfter the post you mentioned, I began telling people that I was going to be passing out my birthparent letter to doctor's. I was amazed at how many people I knew wanted one (including my mom, haha!) She wanted one just in case she heard of a situation...who knows? I say the more people who know and can network for you, the better!! :)
It's amazing how we all go through the same thoughts and emotions. I've been thinking about discussing with DH that we should tell people that we are interested in adopting - just so we're "out there", if you know what I mean. Have you thought about international adoptions? I have so many close friends that have had wonderful experiences - I think that is the path we might take. It's interesting because when I first told my (catholic) dad about our infertility, his first reaction was "well, Tiff, maybe there's a baby out there that just needs you." He's never doubted that if we are called to adoption, it's for a reason. I wish I had that faith.
ReplyDeleteYour words sound so familiar to me...in fact, I think I wrote them myself this year. Infertility does leave you in this place of uncertainty and I hated not knowing what was coming next.
ReplyDeleteOn the adoption front, my husband and I are two weeks away from the adoption of a baby girl (due May 6.) We talked with many, many agencies before we found the one we ultimately chose and LOVE. We found a small, christian agency that keeps it's lists small so that the adoptions move faster. We applied in December and were chosen by a birthmom in March. They don't all happen this fast, and I had an agency tell me the same thing you heard: adoption is getting more challenging. I didn't use that agency. I felt like I wanted someone encouraging me in this path, not telling me it wasn't going to be easy. While our agency was REALISTIC, they never made me feel like it wouldn't happen. I encourage you to keep looking until you find someone you click with...I knew from ten minutes on the phone with our agency that these were the people. It was a God thing.
I have an adoption blog that I put out there as well. I have no idea if any pregnant women ever came across it, but it doesn't hurt to be out there. You can also read more about our journey and the process if you want to. It is www.fromthestork.blogspot.com.
Let me encourage you in this. If that's all this comment does, I hope it serves to tell you that I felt immense relief when we stopped TTC and focused on adoption. It was this huge weight that lifed off me. I felt so responsible that we didn't have a baby, and it was this burden I carried around. There was peace that came with filling out the papers, getting the needed records, and getting the house ready.
You can do it. I believe it.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteMay I ask you a question? Is it considered normal not to get your period after a laparoscopy? Or for your cycle to be messed up after one?
Thanks!
May God Bless you!
MT
I think this is great!
ReplyDeleteDid you find an agency that will do your homestudy only like we did? It worked out well for us (not that we are approved yet -- still waiting on our background checks -- ahh!!)
But it's nice b/c you ARE moving forward in a MAJOR part of the adoption process-the homestudy- while still not yet committing to an agency. It's a good place to be.
Praying for you!
My homestudy is taking for-ev-er, so it's a good idea to get started now :)
ReplyDeleteI am excited for you in embarking on this new path of your journey!!
As for marketing, it weirded me out, too, but I finally decided to email the woman at our local pregnancy crisis center (with whom I've done the 40 Day Prayer Vigils) and told her we were adopting, and that if she wouldn't mind, would she consider keeping one of our adoption profile books at her center in case any girls mentioned they would want to look into adoption. She is very excited for us, and responded, "Get me your info. as soon as you can!!"
So, networking is a good idea, it seems. We just need to swallow a bit of pride, but I think it's worth it.
Thanks so much for all your kind words of encouragement. I seriously don't know what I would do without my blogging friends!
ReplyDeleteMT - I think most women have a crazy cycle after their lap, I know that I did. Things return to "normal" in the following cycle. (Whatever normal means!)
you've been tagged!
ReplyDelete