Balance and Discernment

Sorry that I haven't been posting much lately. I really haven't felt inspired to write much. And I guess that's partially because I've been feeling pretty blah lately.

I'm really hoping to get more balance in my life. I feel like I have so many ups and downs - emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc. Some days I'm full of energy and hope. I am super productive and get so much done at home and at work. Other days I have no energy or hope. I feel tired and lethargic.

I wonder if my medication has anything to do with this. I'm not just looking for something to place blame, but I'm going to try and remember (or write down) what times of my cycle I'm feeling this way. I still plan on pushing for injectables next cycle. But after that it might be time to just take a break from all these treatments.

Right now I'm reading "The Discernment of Spirits - An Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living." It's really good, but I'm moving through it pretty slowly. I am hoping that it will help me discern what is of God and what is not of God.

One passage that really struck me describes how the enemy undermines our peace by "disquieting with false reasons." He says that dedicated people seeking the Lord review their spiritual situation and find one reason after another why they are dificient and they are troubled. He says that we need to be aware when this is happening and reject these thoughts. The enemy is simply trying to get us down and undermine our peace. (He defines the enemy broadly as Satan, our own weakness, external influences, etc.) I haven't made it far enough in the book to know exactly how to reject these thoughts, but I can relate to this situation. Very often I feel like I'm not "doing enough." And while we can always continue to grow in our prayer life, I don't believe that God wants us to have a guilt trip. Does that make sense?

My friend encouraged me to read Psalm 25, so I will leave you with a few lines that inspired me.

In you I trust; do not let me be disgraced;
No one is disgraced who waits for you, but only those who lightly break faith.

Make known to me your ways, LORD; teach me your paths.
For you I wait all the long day, because of your goodness, LORD.

Remember your compassion and love, O LORD; for they are ages old.
-Psalm 25