Beautiful Readings

The readings during Mass yesterday were so beautiful and they really struck me. (I meant to post about this yesterday, but as often happens the day got away from me.) My friend Julia's blog gives a great reflection on these readings as well. She is a great woman of faith and has been such a source of encouragement to me lately! You can check it out here if you'd like.

The first reading every day this week has been from 1 John. This beautiful letter is all about God's love for us. The part that most spoke to me was, "God is love... there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear." I so needed to hear this! I have been struggling with fear in my spiritual journey - fear that I won't like God's plans, fear that I'm always going to be childless, etc.

My head knows that with God there is nothing to fear, and yet my heart is still afraid. And obviously it's hard to have a good relationship with someone if you're afraid of them or what they might do! The priest brought up this point during his homily. Can you imagine what kind of relationship I would have with my husband if I was afraid of him? The same is true with God. He loves me more than I could imagine and He wants nothing but my happiness - true, eternal happiness - not just the fleeting pleasures of this life.

The theme of the Gospel passage goes right along with the first reading. The apostles see Jesus walking on water and were terrified so Jesus says, "Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid." Again, the Lord is telling us not to fear. Even when times are confusing, difficult, scary, and painful. We must continue to trust in Him.

Fear is not of God. I am convinced that the devil uses fear to turn us away from God. In the moments when I am struggling to trust I need to remember these basic truths: God is love. In love there is no fear.

Yesterday's Magnificat reflection by Fr. John Tauler, OP highlights this point. He says, "The demon will leave all else, if only he can unsettle your confidence... genuine love is confidence in God's love during the time of desolation of spirit." He goes on to say that we need to enter our inmost soul where God's grace awaits us. If we continue to resist this inner voice, one day we will cease to hear it.

There have been many times when I was afraid of this inner voice. I was afraid of silence, and quiet prayer, and even letting myself go during adoration because I didn't want to hear what the Lord has to say. I was too afraid that I wouldn't like His plan. How ridiculous is that? Over the past couple of months I have relished my quiet prayer and the words the Lord has spoken to me. He has reminded me of His love. He loves me more than I could ever imagine or repay. How could I not trust in His plans for my life?