Appointment Update

I finally had my much-anticipated doctor's appointment today and I'm not quite sure what to make of it all. I will give you the update and as usual I'd love any feedback you have!

Overall, the appointment was pretty much what I expected, with a surprise examination thrown in for fun. :) (At this point, I guess I should always be prepared for a physical exam, but somehow I'm always caught off guard!) This was my first time meeting Dr. L and she was great. We spoke very briefly about my history and what tests and treatments we've already explored. She mostly agreed with everything that Dr. B has done thus far. She commented on the value of taking Femara and the range of opinions that physicians seem to have on its effectiveness. (Has anyone heard much about this? Potential negative side effects for babies born after the mother has been on it? Just curious...) She mentioned that in addition to Femara and Clomid, she likes using Tamoxifen. Even after I asked her a few questions, I still wasn't able to figure out the difference. She decided it would be good for me to try it for at least a month. Thankfully today was Cycle Day 3 and I hadn't picked up my Femara prescription yet - so I was able to start it today.

Of course the main purpose of the appointment was to discuss and schedule my laparoscopy. She agreed that its time for me to pursue this course, especially since everything else in our fertility is seemingly "good." My hubby is healthy, I'm ovulating, and my hormones seem to be more normal. She was still concerned about my estrogen and progesterone levels, and also my short luteal phase. She thought they could be related to endo, but couldn't be certain.

Thankfully we should be able to schedule the surgery pretty quickly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the day after Thanksgiving. Her schedule is wide open, the only possible snag is some paperwork. She is still relatively new to the area and hasn't completed all the necessary paperwork with all the insurance companies, including mine. As of this moment, she is not approved by them. But she assured me that she has been working on this for awhile and it should go through at any moment. I really hope this doesn't end up causing a long delay. You just never know when it comes to insurance companies and paperwork!!

She did a physical exam as part of the pre-op preparations... at this point my hubby made a speedy exit out the door! :) She said I would most likely have to come back into her office for one more appointment before the surgery.

So now I'm left with many thoughts, emotions and more WAITING! Waiting, waiting, waiting... I am thanking God it doesn't seem that I'll have to wait too long. I am trying to keep a balanced perspective on things, which is difficult. Sometimes I can't tell what is a rational thought and what isn't. Am I right to hope that this could be the solution I've been waiting for all along??? I can't tell you the last time I actually let my mind wander about being pregnant, having a baby, etc. I have been so guarded that I haven't gone down that road mentally in a loooong time. It's just too painful to go there because I've been disappointed too many times.

Also, it's hard not to think - what if this doesn't work? What if I don't have endo? Or what if she opens me up and finds something else going on? It's the not-knowing that is so difficult. We don't seem to have too many other options left after this. What if we are that couple that everything is just a mystery??

I will continue to hope and pray for patience and for God's will to be done. I was able to swing by adoration for a quick visit on my way home, so that was nice. I am trying my hardest to surrender this whole situation to God and His Divine Providence. I really have connected with the image of God being the artist who is constantly making and molding us. I pray for the faith to trust that I am in good hands.

On a lighter note, I had to kill some time in Target while I was waiting for my prescription to be filled. This can be very dangerous!!! Target is my absolute favorite store and my total weakness... I usually come home with groceries, decorations for the house, a pair of earrings and maybe even a new piece of furniture. My hubby always gets nervous when I'm there for too long. Thankfully I didn't splurge too much today. But I did come home with a bunch of Christmas cards... can you believe it? All the Halloween stuff was gone and they had aisle after aisle of Christmas things. CRAZY! I love, love, love writing Christmas cards... and my one rule is that I won't send non-religious cards. But sometimes it can be hard to find really good ones. I found a couple that I really liked, so I bought two boxes of each. Maybe I will get them all written while I'm recovering over Thanksgiving weekend! :)