The countdown is on for my spring break! Just four more days to go. It will probably fly by since this week is so busy for me. Tonight I have to stay at school for the band concert. Tomorrow I've got meetings after school and Thursday night is my women's prayer group. Friday night I'm supposed to sing for stations and Saturday my parents arrive. Yay! I'm really looking forward to their visit. We'll do some sight-seeing, but mostly just spend our time hanging out together.
This morning I got my blood drawn and it was so crowded! The office opens at 7:30am and generally I arrive at 7:00am so that I can get my blood drawn and get to school by 8:00am. When I got there one man was already waiting for the doors to open. So I sat down and read my book for 30 minutes. By the time they opened the doors there were 15 people waiting! It's not always that crowded, but apparently St. Patrick's Day is popular to get lab work done. Last month my doctor's office called with the results, so we'll see if they do that again. I'll probably check-in with them by Friday if I don't get a call.
Right now I'm reading "The World's First Love" by Fulton Sheen. This is probably my third time reading this book - I just love it! Each time I read it I discover something new. I haven't read it for many years (before dealing with IF) so now of course I'm seeing everything through the lens of infertility. One chapter is titled "Love and Sorrow." This passage really struck me this morning:
If the Father gave His Son a Cross and the Mother a sword, then somehow sorrow does fit into the Divine plan of life. If Divine Innocence and His Mother, who was a sinless creature, both underwent agonies, it cannot be that life is a snare and a mockery, but rather it is made clear that love and sorrow often go together in this life and that only in the next life is sorrow left behind... At the end of the story of love and sorrow, we see that love needs a constant purification, and this happens only through sorrow. Love that is not nourished on sacrifice becomes trite, banal and commonplace.
As I was typing up that quote it struck me that each time I come across a passage like this it brings me so much comfort. Even though it's just more of the same message, it's obviously something that I need to hear over and over again. There is value in our suffering. There is a purpose for our pain.
I was really struck by AYWH's post on the topic of infertility and eternity. She posed the question, "What if we are the blessed ones?" We tend to look at all our fertile friends as the ones who are blessed (and they are!) But if our infertility, pain and suffering brings us closer to the Lord, it must too be viewed as a blessing. I'm still trying to convince both my head and my heart of this truth, but it's something worth pondering.
I do love that passage and it brings me so much comfort. I wish that suffering didn't feel like a snare or mockery. Gosh, that is exactly what if feels like. Especially when you accidentally run into things that deal with IF that you weren't looking for!!! It is hard to train yourself to believe that in those moments it is to purify. I love this passage!
ReplyDeleteAYWH "what if we are the blessed ones" is a beautiful way to look at it. That was a very meditative statement to write about....
Great post! Thanks for sharing! Can't wait to see what the results of your bloodwork are!!
That is the same question that popped out at me from AYWH's post. It really gives me something to reflect on and helps me to remember that yes, this struggle is actually a beautiful gift from God for the sake of my salvation. It's hard to feel that way always, and I usually don't, I'm getting there.
ReplyDeleteSpring break will be here before you know it! Hope this week goes by quickly so you can rest up! :)
I'm looking forward to spring break next week too. I just want to go to bed and not think about those early morning sub calls! Ugh! It's nice today so I'm glad that I wasn't called in.
ReplyDeleteI have realized that my IF is a blessing and God knows best. It's hard to accept this blessing. I have too, God gave this to us. In more ways then we'll ever know...it's a gift. hmmm....like you said...I can accept it in my brain but my heart is still questioning, longing and sad when I think about IF. It is what it is and my gift back to God is trying to accept his gift to me with an open heart and mind. :)
I don't sell yet but I can definitely make them for you! Email me and we can talk about the details! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful passage. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteNice post! The World's First Love is one of my favorite books. Fulton Sheen has such a way with words.
ReplyDeleteYou're so lucky your Spring Break is only four days away. Mine is still a few weeks away. Are you doing anything special for your break?
Enjoy the countdown.
I'm glad you found my blog! That is a beautiful passage - something to really reflect on during Lent. My husband is studying at Catholic U, so we have known a lot of people in the Silver Spring area - perhaps some mutual friends. We live closer to Annapolis - near Bowie. We have also been to see some of the same doctors as you! Enjoy your spring break.
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