There's No Place Like Home

I had a great two weeks at home in California! But it's always great to get back home to my life here in Maryland. Where is my home? Home is where the heart is, right? :)

This might seem like a really strange tangent, but I noticed that I kept using the word home to refer to both places - where I grew up and where I live now. I guess it's just another part of life and getting older. My hubby and I are both transplants, so we hold the places where we grew up in a special place since we are far from them now. And yet, we are a family now and this is our home - mortgage payment and all!

It ends up being an emotional time for me when I'm back in California... I end up remembering the past, reconnecting with friends and family, and feeling a kind of tug-of-war with my emotions. But after living here for 8 years it doesn't take long for me to get back into the swing of things. We love our life here and know that this is where God has called us to be.

Of course infertility plays a big part in this emotional rollar-coaster. Reconnecting with people and getting caught up on everyone's lives forces me to confront my infertility in a big way. The passing of time is thrown in my face and I end up answering the question, "So what's going on with you?" about a million times. How can I stay positive when answering this question? I don't necessarily want to get into how I'm really feeling each and every time. And yet I can't deny the truth. It's hard to chit-chat about my job(s) and other things in life when really this cloud of infertility is shadowing everything.

Well, I didn't mean for this to become a downer post. For the most part I had an amazing two weeks! I promise to post pictures soon from our incredible week in Yosemite, Sequoia and Kings Canyon. They have to be some of the most beautiful places in the world! Thank God everything went well with our travels (except for my brother's car breaking down on the way back. Poor guy!) Then I was able to spend another week at my parent's house. I'm so thankful for this time. It's good for my soul to just get away and be in a different place.

Nothing new to report in cycle news. I think I'm on cycle day 11, so I'm starting to look for my O day. I've pretty much given up on charting - which feels freeing in a way! I'm not sure what will be next for me in terms of treatment. I feel like I need to bring suggestions to Dr. L next time I meet with her - but I don't know what to ask for. I would love for her to be more aggressive and suggest something new. But she is content to just wait. She seems to think our plan is "working" and it's only a matter of time. It's hard for me to feel the same way.

We got our HUGE adoption paperwork packet, so now that is hanging over our heads. Now that we're back from vacation we need to schedule our first meeting with the social worker. It feels good to be moving forward with the homestudy process, even though we're not sure what we're going to do once we're homestudy-approved. We will work on this part first, and then decide which agency to go with after that.

I've got two more weeks of summer camp and then school starts. Where did the summer go???

Oh, and one last comment. Did anyone see "Julie and Julia"? I went with my mom and thought it was super cute! I had to laugh at all the references to blogging. It made me think of you all. And there was once very poignant scene that deal with IF. It caught me totally off guard. But overall I thought the movie was adorable!