Amazing Morning

The talk this morning with Dr. B and Dr. L was wonderful!

We had advertised this event in all the parishes of the archdiocese. My intention was to reach infertile couples, so I was surprised at the number of other people who attended the talk as well. It turned out to be a great group with a variety of perspectives on this issue.

There were twenty-four of us in total - women from the DC support group, husbands, friends, two priests, a Creighton practitioner, another physician (who is trained in the Creighton model,) and pro-life Catholics who were just interested in the topic.

Dr. B started by having everyone introduce themselves and briefly explain their infertility history. He had prepared a nice powerpoint presentation, but unfortunately he had to rush through most of it. We started a bit late and it took awhile to go around the room. I think it was good to start that way, but unfortunately it cut into the main presentation time. (And he had to leave at 11:15.)

Dr. B briefly introduced himself and his practice, talked about the culture of OB-Gyn medicine in our world today and why Catholics need to do a better job of promoting our beliefs - especially in the medical field. He talked about the main causes of infertility and options for treatment. He really tried to gear his talk to the needs of the infertile couples present, so he left plenty of time for questions and answers. He recognized the great need for support and truly seemed happy to be with us.

Dr. L chimed in once in awhile, answered some questions and gave her perspective. I'm not exactly sure why Dr. B invited her to come. He mentioned that they don't usually do speaking engagements together, so maybe he is trying to do more of that. Before the talk began she told me that her flight from Chicago was delayed and she didn't get home until 2:00am this morning! It was so kind of her to join us.

After Dr. B and Dr. L left I put in a plug for our support group. We ended up having a nice discussion about the need for support and good treatment. The priests asked us how they could be more pastoral to couples going through infertility. I only wish EVERY priest were there to hear our responses! It was a beautiful conversation. We got off on a bit of a tangent talking about IVF towards the end, but we closed with a lovely prayer in which people shared their intentions.

At one point during our conversation we were talking about infertility as a kind of grief and mourning. One woman (not infertile) said something about how we shouldn't mourn anything yet because our chances are so good for conceiving. My friend M responded with a heartfelt perspective on how difficult this road has already been for us - no matter if or when we conceive. She was crying while she spoke and the rest of us infertile women had tears in our eyes too. It was such a poignant moment in which our suffering and grief was tangible. Everyone was quiet for a moment and we were united in our silent tears. Even though we barely know each other, we are deeply connected through our common experience.

I was so overwhelmed by the whole morning. I was pleased that it came together, I was saddened to think about all the other couples struggling to conceive, I was frustrated to think about the poor medical care that so many couples are receiving and yet I was excited about the community that we are forming. I was emotional to say the least.

I hope and pray that our group can get together again soon!