I'm all anointed!

I had spiritual direction today with Fr. T and he gave me Anointing of the Sick. I figured that I can use all the grace I can get! I know my surgery is not that invasive, but of course there's always a risk with general anesthesia. Not to mention that I do feel "sick." Something is wrong with me, even though we don't know what exactly it is. I've had other prayers of healing said over me before during the past couple of years, but receiving the sacrament today was different.

While he was anointing me I felt the urge to pray, "I do believe that You can heal me... I do believe in You." Part of the sacrament included a reading from Matthew that describes the sick being healed by Jesus. During this time of infertility it hasn't occured to me to reflect on these passages from Scripture. Obviously the Gospels are filled with people being healed and cured from their various diseases. Although it seems that when Jesus healed people, it was an outward sign of his forgiving their sins - that was his main purpose, not the physical healing but the spiritual. I think that I will reflect on this during my adoration time this week.

Overall I'm feeling good about this week... a mix of anxiety and hopefulness. Surprisingly I'm also filled with a great amount of peace and surrender! (I recognize this is all by the grace of God.) I have this overwhelming sense that it is completely out of my hands. There is nothing for me to do but wait and see. Usually that is my cue to stress out! But for some reason God has given me this gift of peace. I really don't know what we'll do if the doctor tells me that she found no endo and nothing is wrong with me. But we will cross that bridge when we have to. For now, I will throw myself into this season of Advent - the perfect time for "waiting."